Wild paprika plague spreading through the Planet
December 29, 2017
THE DAILY SPREAD EAGLE
Wild paprika plague spreading through the Planet
By Hydroblade
The King's long absence has started to affect many aspects of the daily life in our beloved planet. Productivity has gone down, the various rinks in the Planet have been erecting small shrines to pray for his Majesty's ankle and the chocolate supply is dwindling.
Reports indicate that the King is back on the ice, and that he had a peaceful birthday with a cake provided by his loyal advisors Brian and Tracy. Thousa
nds of good wishes were also received at the King's training camp, carefully sorted by all the Pooh-minions of the Prime Minister.
nds of good wishes were also received at the King's training camp, carefully sorted by all the Pooh-minions of the Prime Minister.
Mount Irene has been observed in a melancholic mood, randomly exhaling puffs of colored smoke matching the King's previous programs.
Earlier this week, Zigeunerweisen Park staff discovered a small patch of wild paprika growing near the lake. Authorities were alerted as this was something unusual.
This friday, more paprika plants were discovered, one in a planter at Firebird Plaza and at least three plants growing near the 4S3T monument in View of Silence street of the capital. "Until now, the paprika plants were confined to the Paprika Fields. That the plants are growing outside its permitted range is very alarming." Said Prime Minister Pooh squeezing its cheeks. "We are doing our best to decontaminate the affected soil but our crew discovered more paprika sprouts in various points of the city."
The population is advised to not touch the plants or its undesirable vegetables. Taking the vegetable is punishable under the Paprika Prohibition Law with up to a week of classifying articles written by sketchy sports journalists and listening to various questionable commentators.
Royal Cleaning Officers have been working hard to keep Cricket Hills, the location of the King's training camp, free of Paprika and are asking the citizens not to disturb the surroundings as they might be unknowingly carrying the offending seeds in their shoes.
No comment from the King's team has been released.
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